she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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