i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
