I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
