how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
