I can't breathe out the right side of my face
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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