at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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