I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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