the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
