you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
