btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
