Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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