Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
