I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
