i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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