dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
