Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
