I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This is the high leading the old right now
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
