If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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