Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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