Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
