Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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