So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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