Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
