Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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