P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
