just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
