the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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