it was like eating out sand paper
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
