He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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