Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
where does the pee come out of this thing
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
