You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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