she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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