When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
