He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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