he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
