home. puking in laundry basket.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
