The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
