Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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