Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
