also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
