no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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