There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
