she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
