Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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