not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
