Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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