I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
