There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
