Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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