At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
